El Ultimo

So it would sadly appear that the end has come for stage 1 of operation - Kiwi in America del Sur - and so I find myself now basically back where I started, an internet cafe in the airport killing time before my flight to a new land and life. This time it is to Santiago (stage 2, work time) not Buenos Aires and I do not have a big journey in front of me. But as with stage 1, I am well looking forward to it, finally I don’t have to search through my pack to find some clean undies, which can now be done on a floor. Before I get all philosophical about my travels over the last ten months I better give you a quick fill in with regards to what I have been up to for the last two months.

So as any one with an IQ greater than that of George Bush can see, I managed to survive my sailing trip from Colombia to Panama (aka mini America). 5 days sailing the Caribbean coast was awesome, even the two days in the open ocean with 6 - 7 foot seas and 20knot winds. The days spent sailing around 400 coconut covered islands was even better, although I did find it a little weird having the natives paddle out to our boat to ask as if we could put their cell phones on the charge and attending a 15th birthday party where all the grown mean of the island proceed to show the world how much drool one man can produce after consuming as much cheap rum as possible was just straight out disturbing.
I have made my way since then up to Honduras, through Guatemala and then to Cuban. In the name of my laziness, I will just touch on a few lessons learned during that time (and if you are still curious, email me).

• If you are heading to a diving island full of boozy travelers, it is best not to travel there with booze hags (should Kiff or Phil be scene, avoid them at all coast, you may loose days of your life)
• Diving on a hangover sucks, but is possible
• If you think that riding a horse up a volcano instead of walking will be good for your hangover, think again, especially if the so named horse suffers severe flatulence.
• Lava is hot.
• Assuming the room with the light on is her room is probably not applying the best principles of risk management, aye Phil.
• There are no Starwars Land Speeders at the Rebel base, (aka Tikal).
• Cuban Customs’ are bastidos, and will take liberty to ask you 10 questions 50 times and finish off with a quick drug test (Gran, you will be pleased to know that the Cuban government has recognized what most of the world already new, I am a clean pure individual)
• Cigars are disgusting, Mojitos aren’t.
• Fidel Castro operates a rather effective dictatorship, which is more about control than equality. Unfortunately Marx's idea about the brotherhood of man seems to be a little optimistic.
• Cuban customs’ are just as a bad on the way out.
• Colombia is awesome - despite what numb nuts Chaves says.

OK well now that is out of the way, something profound, hmmm. Well, after 10 months I could probably sit here and spiel on about the crazy awesome time I have had, seeing so many amazing things with such great people, but as most of you suckers have been at work, that would just be mean. Ha ha. Basically, if you have been on a big beast of a trip you will already know what I could say, if you haven’t, then get off your arss and do it!
But I will leave you with my biggest thought,
If you live in a clean country, be thankful. If you have access to decent education, be thankful. If you have the ability to see another country, be thankful. If you don’t need to worry about the food bill, be thankful. If you can vote, be thankful. If you can walk your street during the day and not have to worry about being mugged, be thankful.
Basically if I ever catch anyone from NZ or even Scotland, bitching I will beat you with spoons. We have it soo sweat. But in saying that, I will not be coming home, well not for a long while, so if you do miss me as much as I would miss me, you need to come and visit me.
Stay in touch and remember to fill me in on all the antics, I never get sick of hearing crazy kiwi gossip.

Peace & Love,
El Kiwi.